tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5728923913945313677.post6976584339951010473..comments2023-08-16T09:45:56.539-05:00Comments on Belle Plaine: I'm owed 602 hours of "time off"Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00008698754694357636noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5728923913945313677.post-11800578576287398372009-05-15T16:53:00.000-05:002009-05-15T16:53:00.000-05:00Okay, I'm going to back you up here, absolutely.
...Okay, I'm going to back you up here, absolutely.<br /><br />I feel uncomfortable expressing these same feelings to ANYONE other than my mother (who I have mentioned in my blog) and her response is always, "Well you have no choice" or "Yeah, I know. Really hard, isn't it?"<br /><br />Basically, find out what your other half is willing to do to pitch in, and then ASK, like Bessieviola said. I give mine a decent heads up before I request that he drop what he's doing and manage the baby. Otherwise I get some pretty fierce backlash -- suddenly I'm an a**hole for not noticing that he's working from home, or getting ready to head off to work and is finishing his cereal! If you feel alone in this, please know that there have been a few nasty F-words flung about in this house over the "sharing" of duties. Eventually we had to discuss it calmly, and I quickly got sympathy and support from him. He's not a bad DH. But I feel like a liar pretending that it's all sunshine and flowers under this roof.<br /><br />In the end, I know that I am becoming a stronger mother/person by, as you put it, handing all the details of the day. Just planning a balanced meal for the baby, only to have him refuse to eat or throw it on the floor, is enough to make me want to sign up to work at Starbucks sometimes!<br /><br />If you like to go to the bookstore for quiet, DO IT! Plan a date with yourself and keep it. You'll be glad you did. Unfortunately, no one's going to offer. That's what really sucks, right? You have to make your time off official. Don't let anyone guilt you, girl. That's my two cents.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5728923913945313677.post-29756424051235644952009-05-13T15:28:00.000-05:002009-05-13T15:28:00.000-05:00It's not a brain dump, it's just a muddled issue. ...It's not a brain dump, it's just a muddled issue. I totally get it. <br /><br />Neither of us stays at home, but we definitely each have days where one does more than the other. My DH gets home before I do, generally, so he spends 2pm-6pm with Maddie on his own. Some days that's awesome, and other days... not so much (teething, etc). <br /><br />We've both learned that we simply have to ASK. It's so important to simply share what you need with your partner. I spent the first, oh, 10 months of Maddie's life in an intermittent blind rage because he just COULD NOT SEE what needed to be done. <br /><br />Of course, I wouldn't SAY what I needed, either. <br /><br />So... I know it's a bit trickier for you, since you're "not working" (oh ha. HA HA HA HA!) But I would say that delegating bathtime to your DH is certainly not "throwing him under the bus." <br /><br />When I am having a stressful time at work, my DH will take bathtime even though he's been home and "on" much longer, simply because he knows I need that 1/2 hour to decompress. Maybe that would be a start... just 1/2 an hour to yourself in the evenings. It makes a WORLD of difference. <br /><br />OKAY, I'm going to stop talking now... can you tell this is something I'm very opinionated about? Sheesh. :) But good luck... you'll find your balance, I promise.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com