Against my nature

In a past life I was crafty. I enjoyed making things and creating and getting covered in paint and fabric remnants. I have a “To-Do” list a mile long and most of the items read like a Jo-Ann Fabrics/Michaels Crafts/Home Depot shopping list:

Buy an old bench and paint it for the front hall! (a graphic stencil??? Yeah!)
Sew a pouf for Chloe’s room
Recover the old chair in the basement
Build shelves in the bathroom nook (aka TIM build shelves--I’ll paint)
Paint the laundry room
Make personalized stools for kids
Homemade thank you cards
Sew Halloween costumes
Install and paint board and batten in front hall--modern cottage style? maybe, hmmm.
Install hooks for coats and bags
Repair bathroom faucet
Paint hallway
Paint front porch columns and railings

And on and on and on. Until recently, I let that list collect dust. Yesterday I threw it away. Yes, there are things on there I still wish to accomplish (hello, front hall organization, I’M LOOKING AT YOU (for the fifth year)) but I realized I have limited time. And limited ability. I don’t like doing projects on the weeknights and at this point that’s all the quiet time I have available. Our weekends are generally busy with social obligations, birthday parties, work and family time (like everyone’s weekends...we are not unique, I know). That is time better spent on those endeavors and less on trying to pack in projects that cause Tim to reach nuclear meltdown.

I’m letting it go. Letting go of the wish to be super-productive and do it all. I can’t. I have time for work, I have time for my family, I have time to straighten up my house and now I have the (small) resources to pay someone else to lighten my load. That is SUCH a freeing feeling. That broken faucet in our bathroom that never had hot water and we lived like that for FIVE years because we thought it was going to be a ridiculous amount of money to have fixed/replaced? The handyman we hired fixed it in 20 minutes and for $50. Bam.

That old, rustic front-hall bench I have been searching for for years so I can paint it and make it look amazing with a stencil or something? I’m going to Ikea this weekend and picking up a basic white bench that will serve the perfect purpose (I might still stencil. I’m not DEAD inside.). Yes, it may not be unique but it’s EASY (minus the visit to Ikea on a Saturday...yikes). While I’m there I’m buying the hooks for the coats/bags and bringing that handyman back to put some wood up on my walls that I will then paint in one night. Voila, front hall organization.

I WANT to be creative and crafty and sew my little heart out but I can’t. And I won’t let myself feel guilty about it either. You all keep pinning on Pinterest and posting your craftiness and I’ll admire it and then write that check to the handyman for doing my bidding. Poor guy, he really didn’t see this coming.