Monday, October 11, 2010

Straight outta Chicago

The following conversation was had between myself and a lovely employee of the Alderman's office, read: Chicago accent straight out of an SNL skit.

Me: "Hello. My name is Sara Smith and I'm a resident in your Ward. I'm looking to do some minor debris removal from our basement this weekend and would like to use a Bagster as our dumpster. How do I go about getting the proper authorization to put the Bagster on the street?"

Alderman's employee/life-long Chicagoan: "Yous gots to call the dumpster place, ma'am."

Me: "Right, but I am not using a dumpster. It's a Bagster. It’s a giant waste bag that you can buy at Home Depot, put it out on the street, fill it up, and then call Waste Management to pick it up. It's smaller than a dumpster. I assume I need a permit or authorization to have it on the street?"

Him: "I’s don't know about this Bagster business. You don't need no permit. Eh, yous gots to call Streets and San. Yeah, theys over der can help yah. At Streets and San."

Me: "So you can't help me figure out what I need?"

Him: "That's whatta just told yah. Yous gots to call Streets and San. Call Marty, yeah, Marty Casey, he's your guy."

Me: "Ok, do you have a number where I can reach Mr. Casey?"

Him, shuffling papers: "Here's the number xxx-xxx-xxxx. Ask for Marty."

Me: "Right, ok, thank you."

Him: "You prolly just put it out der on de street and see what happens."

Me: "Yes, that is an excellent plan. Thank you for your wonderful assistance."

Me: "Is Mr. Casey available?"

Lady on the phone: "Who?"

Me: "Marty Casey? I was told to call him by my alderman's office."

Lady: "Oh yah, Marty? I don't know where he is. Call back in an hour."

Me: "Right. Obviously."
The End.

Marty never did call me back...I'm just so SURPRISED.


Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Sweet home, Chicago. At least your Alderman has people who answer the phone. Then again, maybe you'd be better off just calling 311 next time...

Mary said...

Aw, I miss that accent!

kyooty said...

oh my it's like you've got Canadian Government workers down there.

Rougie said...

So the Laughing Out Loud never did come to an end on this post. And you could totally write for SNL if a life in law gets too boring. And OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

samantha said...

BWAH HA HA HA HA HAAAAA! Yup. That's about it alright!

Cupcake Mama said...

I heart Chicago! Best city ever.