Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Facebook...love it or hate it

Oooh boy have I gotten some heated responses to joining Facebook. Of course, these responses can't come in the form of comments on this website...nooooo, they must be emailed directly to me. Comments are cool!!! Try 'em out. Anyhow, some of you are pleased I have joined Facebook after being told a million times how fun it is to see what people you haven't heard from in nearly 4, 7, or 9 years are doing. And some of you mock me. To those of you who mock me, I say, bring it. I think you're just jealous that our emailing and gmail chatting time is going to be lessened because I will be busy on Facebook. Sheer jealousy masquerading as disdain. I've got your number.

Here is also something to think about. I know this blog is public. I understand that people I know, outside of those I gave the site address to, will and do read this. I comment on stranger's blogs and I know strangers come to mine through those comments. That is all a-ok with me. But I also put this blog's address on my Facebook page. I have completely opened it up to people I used to know in high school and college (the majority of my "Facebook friends" thus far). I have no idea why that totally weirds me out. Part of me was itching all day at work to come home and immediately remove this website from my profile. The Facebook friend requests were coming in quickly and all I could think about was holy shit, so-and-so from high school totally read my blog! I am so embarrassed! And they know people I know and now those people will read it too and oh god! Then I got ahold of myself and realized that there is nothing on this blog that I wouldn't say in person, so why should I be embarrassed? So I say to all of that: welcome new friends! Leave a comment, say hi. Just don't embarrass me...I do that well enough on my own thankyouverymuch.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Inside out

I'm constantly amazed by pregnancy. On one hand, it is so incredibly bizarre to think that there is this miniature person INSIDE of me. He has legs and arms, a nose and two eyes that can now open and close. He moves his little feet and squeezes his hands open and shut. He can swallow and suck on his own fingers. He stretches out his legs and knees me in the kidneys. All he hasn't done yet is cry outloud. The fact that he is in me is astounding. And the fact that I don't know him yet is maddening.

I want to see him and look at his eyes, and his nose, and his tiny ears. I want to see his rosy mouth and his perfect little chin, just like his daddy (I hope). I want to watch his perfectly formed fingers curl around mine. I want to see him recognize our voices in those first early days. I want his eyes to search for mine and stare at me. I want to love him more than anything.

On the other hand, I am not ready for him. Yes, we're prepared in the sense that he will have any material object he needs when he arrives. But mentally, emotionally? Am I ready for him? No, I don't think so. He's safe where he is right now. When he makes his arrival, keeping him safe and happy is all I will want to do...but it will be a thousand times more difficult. Logically I know all he needs to survive is love, shelter, and food. I can provide all of those things and then some. The sheer idea that we are soley responsible for his well-being is a huge responsibility.

But you know what? As incompetent as I feel right now, today, I know that when he is finally here, in 7 short weeks, I will be as ready as I can be. I'll learn as I go with him, and I won't expect anything to be perfect. Except for him. He already is perfect. And will only be more so when we finally get to meet each other.

Friday, May 23, 2008

It's not my fault

I broke down today. I did what I said I was never, ever going to do. I am so ashamed at myself for my lack of willpower. Please don't hate me.

I joined Facebook.

I know. I am so sorry.

But I had lunch with my friend CS today and she happened to mention Facebook, and this was after my other friend DC berated me for not yet joining (again) and then I recently found out my friend AF had joined after she said she wasn't going to. What can I say? I am a sucker for peer pressure.

So, I am now a member of the Facebook community. Who wants to be my friend? Anyone? I hear people troll this site for anyone they might have a connection with...high school, college, work, etc. This should be interesting. I don't know what the market is like for a 26 year old married chick with a baby on the way. Wish me luck that I don't end up the only Facebook-er with 3 friends.

Monday, May 19, 2008

I look WAY better in person

I finally brought my camera out this weekend and got a couple cute shots. First is from yesterday's bridal shower for my friend K (in the middle...the non-pregnant one). M and I are due the same day, which I think I mentioned, and M is K's sister in law. The wedding is July 19th, we're due July 21st...you can come to your own conclusions about how happy K is right now.

This is the first picture Tim and I have taken together during this pregnancy. Mind you this is the best of 8 shots...and I still feel like I look gigantic. And my eyes have been absorbed by my face.

8 weeks to go friends.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Music to my ears

Scene: Kitchen, 4 pm Saturday afternoon.

Sara, 7 1/2 months pregnant, feet swollen, a little cranky.
Tim, 7 1/2 months sympathy pregnant, jolly.
Lily, still angry at having been given a bath 5 hours ago.
Cat, still fat.

Sara: What are we going to have for dinner? I don't really feel like anything in particular.

Tim: Do you want to go out to eat? Order in? Cook? We can grill?

Sara: .......................................

Tim: Baby, you have been so busy today doing our laundry. Why don't you just sit down, put your feet up, and I'll take care of dinner. Would you like any water? Maybe some juice? A snack while you wait?

Sara: Oh no, I couldn't possibly let you do all that....well, if you insist. I'll just sit down right here...

Scene continues...5:30 pm.

Tim: We are having honey-jalapeno glazed grilled shrimp, new potatoes with garlic, olive oil and parmesan, and steamed asparagus! I've got all the ingredients and will commence cooking immediately!

Sara: (from the couch) Go forth and conquer the grill! (Inwardly: oh thank god I don't have to help).

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is why I married my husband. And I think he's still trying to make up for calling me Shamu last week.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Backyard-A Work in Progress

I took these pictures of our backyard on May 3rd and already it looks so different. So much more filled in. I'll have to update the pictures later this summer but wanted to have these on record. Especially since the backyard will look mighty different next year when we have some grass put in. Chicago lots are notoriously skinny and short so we have very limited space. The previous owners did the hardscape (flagstone and brick paths) as well as the perennial garden. With some love and prayer to the almighty goddess of gardening, it may just look good someday this summer.

This is the view from our backdoor. We have a lovely deck with a beautiful pergola. The birch tree behind the deck is half dead so I think it has to come out soon. And it's pretty annoying to our neighbors, who I adore. My parents gave us the wrought iron patio set (not pictured - table and 4 chairs) that was gifted to them by my great grandparents 30 years ago. Not only is it sentimental, but its eco-friendly too! Go recycling!

This is our 123 year old garage aka the carriage house. It leans to the right and can't fit my SUV. So guess who gets to park there? Just guess. It ain't me. But it's so cute isn't it? In that shabby chic, peeling paint kind of way. The red leafed tree is a Japanese maple which right now is absolutely gorgeous. We have some forsythia as well which supposedly will have yellow blooms...still waiting. The crab apple in the back corner just bloomed white and smells like heaven.

This is a close up of the flagstone pathway and partially empty planting bed in the middle. There were tomato plants and pepper plants in the middle but they were incredibly overgrown and I have no clue how to maintain vegetable plants. So out they came. We have some herbs that came back this year and I put that planter there for the time being. But some little puppy likes to nibble on the flowers...so that is going to have to move. Eventually this space will be re-worked to include grass for the boy to play on.

A close-up of the garage. Such cute little windows, no? We have some gorgeous ferns coming in under the trees, a bleeding heart, crocuses, peonies, lilies and some other unidentifiable blooms.

Here is the view from the garage looking at the back of the house. Again, the lovely Japanese maple. Another, much more mature, crab apple tree is on the right. It's like a brothel for birds. All day they come and go and make so much noise. There is a woman three doors down that uses an air horn to frighten the birds off her trees. She scared the shit out of me last week. But she may be on to something.

There you have it. Our backyard, Spring 2008.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Basketball or baby? You decide.

Nice eh? And guess what? It's only going to get BIGGER. Like 10 more centimeters bigger. I am pretty pleased that my butt hasn't exploded and my arms still look relatively skinny. I'll take what I can.

This pose makes me look stupid. I know I've been doing it since the beginning because it shows off the belly growth and makes comparisons easy to see, but I feel stupid when I do it, and the resulting pictures look stupid. I tried cupping my hand under the belly but that just looked a little too precious, if you know what I mean. Like I was "holding" my baby. Gah. Ick. So I end up in this stupid pose while Tim tries to hold the camera steady and keep my head out of the frame. Lame-o.

We're 30 weeks along, kids. That means come Monday we are in single digits. 9 weeks to go (approximately). It's exciting to be on this end of the pregnancy...but also extremely terrifying because in 9 SHORT weeks we could be at the hospital and then coming home with a BABY. Like a real, live, breathing BABY. One that depends on us for its life. Spooky. You'll totally hold my hand and stroke my hair while I breathe into a paperbag, right? Pretty please? With a cherry on top? Maybe some whipped cream even?

So it's strange to have all these conflicting emotions about the end of the pregnancy and the beginning of parenthood. I cannot wait to meet this little guy. Seriously. Thoughts of what he looks like, what his tiny personality will be like, get me through the day. But then the images of labor and delivery weasel their way into my daydreams and I get scared. Back and forth I go, everyday, swinging between elated joy and terror. When he's born, just tell me he's the cutest baby in the entire world. That will make it all worth it. Lie to me if you have to.

Monday, May 5, 2008

My boy rocks

He did it! He went and flipped his little teeny self upside down! I had my ultrasound today and my boy, my smart and well-behaved baby boy, went ahead and moved himself in the right position---heads down, bottoms up. (mmmmm, drinks... margarita anyone?)(I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT MARGARITAS)(abstinence of liquor makes the head forget what tequila does to a girl)

Where was I? Oh yes, my genius child. The doctor proclaimed that my placenta has moved out of the danger zone, and with the corrected birth position the baby is in, we have a go for a natural (which in my book means WITH drugs) delivery. Score one for me! If a c-section does end up happening for whatever reason, I am so fine with it. But I would have missed the experience of a natural delivery just a little. But whoo-hoo!

Also, all restrictions have been lifted so I can once again exercise (oh ok! right on it!), "make dinner" with my husband (again, sorry Mom and Jojo!)(but really? maybe I shouldn't tell the husband the "good" news), and I can continue working (yay?). Hmmmm, considering my reaction to that information, maybe I would prefer the restrictions? No, seriously, it's all great news and I am so relieved that I don't have to go on complete bed rest. That is not the situation I wanted to be in for this summer. There is so much I want to do...the botanic garden, walks through our neighborhood, tend to my garden, visiting with friends, basically enjoying the weather while its nice outside.

So, round of applause for the boy! Let's just keep our fingers crossed that he stays where he is.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Nursery Update and my goodness you all are demanding

So, after many personal requests that I find the damn camera and upload some new pictures, I present to you the transformation of the guest room to the nursery. First we moved the guest bed and dresser into the third bedroom, which if you remember I had originally planned to be the nursery. But then I freaked and wanted all the carpeting in the upstairs torn up before the baby comes. Unfortunately, there was no hardwood in the original nursery so I would have had to put down carpeting again. Not interested. But then!!! We discovered hardwood under the carpet in the guest room and ta da! I changed my mind. Again.

Here is the state of the guest room/new nursery (hereafter referred to as the nursery) after Tim tore up the carpeting.

The floors are original to the house (123 years old!), made of 3.25 inch pine, but the finish was pretty rough and worn. We figured we were going to have to refinish anyways. (The paint color is from our big painting extravaganza from February. It worked for a baby boy, so it stayed).

Now you see Tim and Lily pulling up some staples from the carpet install. Lily is very helpful.

Lily loves to look out the window to the street out front. She used to sit on the guest bed, but now she can only stretch and stand up on her back legs. Its kind of the cutest thing I've ever seen.

But then! This is what we found in the middle of the room. A big, patched hole. We realized it was the old heater grate from the original heating system in the house that someone had pulled out and patched with plywood. Enter the professional floor repair and refinishers.

And OF COURSE I forgot to take a picture before putting stuff in the room. But under the area rug are beautiful, stunning, refinished (and patched properly) wood floors. I wanted to lick them when they were done. But I figured the polyurethane finish wasn't exactly safe for the baby...you know, the possibility of three heads and all.

This is looking from the door towards the closet (before furniture).

And now we have some furniture! This is our changing table/dresser area. I have a great mirror I found for almost nothing to go over the dresser, and now next to it is our glider. The glider isn't anything special so I didn't bother to retake this picture. Its not the one I wanted, but that's what compromise is all about right? RIGHT???

And the crib! My very favorite part of the room. My boy's first bed. Except the bumper doesn't fit when the mattress is set at the highest setting...which, ummm, the bumper was the most important part of the bedding set. I'm over it. I think. But maybe not. I might have to adjust the mattress to accomodate the bumper while he's small and can't suffocate himself with it.

I have acquired wall art and things like that, but I haven't gotten around to hounding Tim to put it up yet. I figure I have a little time still to annoy him.

AND! The belly in all its glory. This was taken two weeks ago (Week 28), so imagine it even larger today. I'll try and get another update soon.

There. Now leave me alone.