When you are dyeing clothes BLACK (or, in this case, old maternity pants back to black), do not use the nice wooden spoon to stir for the recommended 30 minutes. It will come out looking disgusting. Instead, dig through your utensil drawer and use the old, BLACK, plastic slotted spoon that you melted in the dishwasher a few years ago.
You're welcome. Now I have to go buy a new wooden spoon.
P.S. I know I've been absent here for, oh, WEEKS but I promise to be back soon with updates about a whole lot of nothing. And a picture of the big ol' belly as Noah calls it. I have no excuse other than I have been busy and tired and lazy.