Feeling nostalgic

So much changes from year to year...

2008

2009

2010

He's grown so very fast and my heart flutters a bit when I think about it too much. This little boy is our sunshine every single day, even on the dreariest of days. We are so so lucky to have him. 

That is all. Disregard the emotional mama in this corner. It will soon pass. 

Thoughts on working motherhood

Some humorous thoughts on working motherhood excerpted from workingmom.about.com:

You know you're a working mom when...

You call your time spent commuting back and forth to work "me time”.

I cannot tell you how many times I have sat down on the train, pulled out a book, and thought that exact same thing: “Finally, twenty minutes to myself, how nice.” Also, how sad. I think Mommy needs an afternoon off to spend time alone.

You know you're a working mom when...

Racing to the post office, dry cleaners, bank and grocery store on your lunch hour feels luxurious because you don't have a tantrum-throwing five (or two!) year-old in tow.

I don’t know about you, but I DREAD running errands with Noah. The in and out of the car seat, the battle with the puffy winter jacket, the whining over wearing a hat/sitting in the shopping cart/ the constant refrain of ”DO NOT LET GO OF MOMMY’S HAND IN THE PARKING LOT FOR THE LOVE OF (insert diety here)”. It’s enough to make me pick him up later at school just to get these errands done alone and in peace.

You know you’re a working mom when…

you wake up at 6 am and return to bed a 11 PM and really cannot remember what happened in the middle of this.

I sometimes worry that I may have mistakenly hit a pedestrian or run a red light on my drive to the train in the mornings…that’s how on auto-pilot I am. Some days I think it’s a miracle we all make it home in one piece with our clothes on.

You know you're a working mom…

When at work, someone tries to "guilt you" into doing something. They are amateurs. Your kids are experts. Also when you hide the last snickers bar in the crisper of the office fridge.

No one knows how to guilt me better than my own kid and he’s only two. He’s also a master bargainer. “Mommy, if you read one more book, I will love you forever and ever.” “Mommy? Are you mad at me? I love you so much, don’t be mad at me.” “Mommy, if I eat one more bite of dinner, I can have a special treat!”

You know you're a working mom when…

On a Sunday morning, after you shower, put on make-up, and dry your hair, your child asks if you’re going to work.

Noah did this to me yesterday. Clearly I need to get dressed more often on the weekends…and not in yoga pants and a headband to hold back my messy hair. 

Re-frame it

Lately it seems like all I do is complain. I complain about money, about our house, about my relationship with my husband, about my lack of “time off”, about my son, about work, about it all. So many of the conversations I have in my head and aloud end in “why me???” and people, let me tell you, my mother never allowed us to act that way growing up. She wouldn’t stand for it. Her stock answer whenever one of us started complaining: Guess what, kiddo? You may think you have things pretty bad but someone out there has it much worse. Guaranteed.

So it was with some measure of comfort that I learned about “re-framing“ through Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. Ms. Rubin gave a name to what my mother always tried to teach us: take the negative way you think about things and “re-frame” those thoughts into something more positive. Perhaps you’ll realize you don’t have it so bad at all.

Here is my attempt at “re-framing”, Sara-style:

• COMPLAINT “I hate walking to the train in the snow every morning, my feet are frozen, and my hat makes my hair look stupid when I get to work.”
• RE-FRAME “At least I don’t have to sit in traffic for an hour to get to work and I get to spend 20 minutes ALONE on the train with my book/magazine/iphone with no one bugging me."

• COMPLAINT “We’re constantly broke and why the hell did I go back to work if we still never have enough money?”
• RE-FRAME “Though money is tight, I’ve learned quickly how to spend more wisely and what’s really important and necessary for my family. I am a budgeting MASTER."

• COMPLAINT “My husband works 24/7/365 and we don’t get enough ‘family time’.”
• RE-FRAME “My husband works 24/7/365 for US so he can make life better and more comfortable someday. Plus he really, really, really loves me and our son and tells us everyday. Oh, and he takes care of the morning routine with our son and that is absolutely priceless.”

• COMPLAINT “I hate laundry. And emptying the dishwasher. And cleaning the bath tub. HATE.”
• RE-FRAME “At least I have a washing machine that works. And is on the second floor next to our bedrooms. No lugging full baskets up and down stairs. At least I have a dishwasher that washes the dishes for me and it truly takes 5 minutes to unload. The tub though? That really does suck.”

• COMPLAINT “My son drives me crazy when he takes 20 minutes to get out the door/refuses to put on shoes (or PANTS! why no pants? it’s WINTER)/takes a frillion hours to eat a simple meal and then demands a cookie.”
• RE-FRAME “My son sleeps through the night in his big boy bed and DOES NOT GET OUT OF BED. That’s right, I said it. All night long, no visits out of his bed into ours. HIGH-FIVES FOR ME.”

• COMPLAINT “My ass feels like it’s getting bigger from sitting at a desk all day (and office holiday treats are in abundance...helllooooo, cookies)  and there is no time to work out.”
• RE-FRAME “My aunts told me I looked skinnier at Thanksgiving so let’s just believe them. And my pants still fit.”

• COMPLAINT “Our calendar always feels full and like we’re constantly rushing around to this or that or the other event.”
• RE-FRAME “A busy calendar means people like us...we have friends and family who want to see us and spend time with us.”

• COMPLAINT “My house is drafty and leaky and old and needs new windows/furnace/garage/basement re-do and why the hell did we spend so much money on it?”
• RE-FRAME “I have a pretty house on a pretty street in a really awesome neighborhood. It needs some work but my husband and I are handy-types so we can tackle some of it ourselves. We can walk to every possible store/restaurant/amenity you can imagine plus we have some fantastic neighbors. We have a good school at the end of the block. It’s the perfect size for our small family. It has beautiful moldings and built ins and creaky floors. And at least we’re not homeless."

I feel better already. I am not advocating Pollyanna-ish behavior because I think that’s ludicrous and people who are always looking at the bright side live in a fake universe. But maybe, sometimes, it helps to look at what’s bugging you and try to think about it from a different perspective. Perhaps a new view of the same old is just what you need.

How about you? What can you “re-frame”?

A little charity

My lovely friend and neighbor, Miss Pseudostoops, is hosting her annual "Give My Money Away" Extravaganza! Hooray! In her words, this is how it works:


I write a post each day featuring a charitable organization that I like to support, to which I plan to make a donation at the holidays.  I guarantee a minimum donation, then I add 50 cents for each comment I receive on that post that day, up to a predetermined limit.

If you want, in your comments, you can leave me some info about one of your favorite charities.  On Friday, I’ll choose five organizations that were mentioned in the comments and we’ll have a good old-fashioned vote to determine which one of them will receive a $50 donation.

I really like doing this: some small and dear-to-me charities receive a little spotlight, you make me feel all warm and fuzzy with your comments that lead to donations, and one of you will see one of your favorite organizations get a bonus $50 at the holidays.  Everybody wins.

So hop on over there and leave a comment. Help her help others! Isn't she so special? Don't you just want to squeeze her? 

It's a baby snowman, Mommy!

Winter's first snowfall + one bored toddler = a miniature snowman.

He was so proud even though he didn't help one bit.

The time honored tradition of catching snow on your tongue 

as demonstrated by a reluctant toddler.

Hook line and sinker

I totally bought into this Elf on the Shelf idea. 100%. I will not apologize for my blatant love of all things Christmas-y. I love Santa. I love twinkle lights (I call them Christmas lights, however they're used). I love swags of garland and holiday music that starts playing the day after Halloween (yes, that is stretching it a little but that's a-ok with me). I love the smell of fresh cut evergreens (or candles!) and the big, red blooms of the poinsettia. I love that I get to buy my son ornaments every holiday season, reflective of what he loved so much that year. It's a train this year, naturally.

When I heard about the Elf on the Shelf idea a few weeks ago I knew it was right up my alley. The idea is that this elf reports back to Santa every night to tell him whether the little one was naughty or nice and then returns to a different spot in the morning, perhaps causing some mischief along the way. Extra Christmas-y? Check. Totally ridiculous and child-like? Awesome. Extra good behavior reinforcement? Count me in.What I didn't like was the price: $35 for a little elf and a book? Not going to happen. And that one is slightly creepy looking. Agreed? Last weekend I struck gold at Hobby Lobby and found an adorable stuffed elf for $4.99...and then 50% off that. Scrounge around the internet for some "elf" ideas and I have a $2.50 version of Elf on the Shelf.

Meet "Dabo the Elf", as named by Noah:

We're two days into our mischief and I'm pretty sure Noah is going to be in tears when Christmas comes and goes and so does our elf. So far "Dabo" has found his way into Noah's stocking, Noah's boot, on the shelf with the dinner plates, and up on the chandelier. Tim thinks I am getting far more enjoyment out of this elf than Noah. Perhaps. But I don't mind one bit.

No time to blog or just lazy? Take your pick.

What do you do to entertain your toddler while you are making dinner? I'm dead serious when I ask this. Frankly, Noah has been spending far too much of the hours from 5pm until 6:30pm in front of the television and I am appalled at myself. I was never the mom who swore her precious future Nobel prize winner would never watch television but I'm concerned it's getting out of hand. Add in the On Demand feature and we have the makings of a addiction brewing around these parts.

I've tried coloring, playdoh, trains, cars, puzzles, and even bought him a step stool high enough so he can reach the counter and play sous-chef. Except then he wants the knives and to fiddle with the stove. I hear that's frowned upon. What is your magic formula for making dinner while entertaining a 2 1/2 year old?

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So you know how I tore up the carpet on our stairs and then never updated about having them refinished? Yeah, that's because I haven't done a thing about it. They sit there in all their paint splattered glory just begging me to take a belt sander to them. However, this working thing is totally getting in the way of me getting ANYTHING done around the house (and here you thought if I had mastered laundry then I must have mastered the rest of LIFE). Alas, I have not and my stairs are neglected. And I didn't like the price I was quoted to have them refinished. That is, until I went to the carpet store today to investigate having them re-carpeted.

This time I was looking at pretty, patterned carpets...kind of like a runner. The lovely saleswoman must have thought I live in a golden palace with diamonds on my sink faucets and precious gems embedded in my floors because the carpets she was showing me? They were EXPENSIVE. Think around $2,500 for carpet, pad and install...for the STAIRS. Umm. No. Sorry. The stair refinishing is looking mighty nice right about now.

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Noah doesn't need a brace! Or special shoes! HOORAY! The docs think he just has a gross motor developmental delay that may resolve itself by his 3rd birthday. MUCH better than I thought. However, they suggested I look into physical therapy for him if I want to be "proactive". Have they met me? Obviously that suggestion meant I called the state early intervention office immediately and we have our first evaluation next week.

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Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I CANNOT WAIT. Turkey and a subsequent nap on the couch? YES, PLEASE.  Enjoy your holiday, friends.