**Update: We found a great in-home daycare that I am thrilled about! This is all just going a little too well...Universe, consider yourself heard and damn, you're OBVIOUS.**
Your collective finger crossing paid off--I got the job! Believe me when I say this was pure luck. And I am not a lucky person. If anything, I usually have pretty bad luck. But somewhere, somehow, the universe has decided to make this one thing happen for me. I am grateful. I am also sad. Sad because this means that life is going to be changing soon and pretty drastically. And changing in a way that is a "have to" vs. a "want to". Thank you to those of you who have chatted with me this past week and pulled me up by my bootstraps. I appreciated hearing how you are a mom AND an employee and you do both with aplomb. Your kids are thriving and happy little ones and you're working (for want and for need).
After much soul searching I think my issues with working again have been less to do with leaving Noah in someone's care (we'll find a good fit, he'll be fine, I'm sure) and more that our planned future is changing a bit. Starting work now means no second baby right now. Which is ok. It is. I think. And like a friend told me today: MANY women have two kids and work. It's very possible down the road. So we'll shelve that plan for a while longer and in the meantime we'll make some more money, get ourselves into a better financial position, and really, REALLY appreciate that our family, as it is today, is pretty fantastic. Noah is an amazing little guy and I am so very lucky to have had him all to myself for two whole years.
If you have any words of encouragement, I could really use them right about now. I'll be over here learning how to "put on my big girl panties and deal".
P.S. I know some of you who read this may work downtown so be prepared to make some lunch plans with me. I'm an excellent lunch partner.