So. Motherhood. Wow. And also, huh? I am almost three weeks into this gig and I am exhausted. Not because I am not sleeping enough, but more because the sheer caretaking of another individual, no matter how small or cute, is tiring. When you are so used to taking care of just yourself (and the husband doesn't count because he can wipe his own ass) and then overnight you add in another person who requires your attention 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, you get tired. Don't get me wrong, Noah makes me happier than I have ever been. The faces he makes when he's just looking around, or when he's gassy, or when he's nursing, make me laugh. He is so much like his father in that respect. But the constant demand for my attention is what is making me tired. It is hard to describe until you experience it...prior to having Noah I thought I knew exactly what my days were going to be like, but now that I am elbow deep in it, I realize I really had no clue.
Every day I see this little baby change and grow. I see him recognize my voice and open his eyes wide (along with his mouth, that little piglet). I have the pleasure of feeding him and satisfying his most basic needs. I have no idea what the next day is going to bring except that he and I will learn something new about each other. And that is what makes each of these days go by just a little faster. Even though I am so tired, and feeling worn down by this exhaustion, I know that around the next bend is something new and different and exciting. Every parent says it all goes by so fast and I don't want to miss a minute of it.