Excuse from a mom for not taking time off: "I stay home and my husband works hard all week, so I feel bad taking a day to myself".
Answer: Well, you work hard all week, too, if you're taking care of kids--some would say harder, given the zillions of details you keep track of and all the needs you must satisfy. There are labor laws in this country and you can decide if they apply to you, too. For every eight hours you work, you're entitled to a half-hour lunch and two 20-minute breaks. If you're a stay at home mom with no help, you work about 16 hours a day. That means you have 14 hours a week coming to you.
Let's discuss. I read this to Tim this morning and his response was "Do those 14 hours count for sleeping?" Oh, ha. Ha. NO. Isn't he funny? He really should take his act on the road. Literally. But this article got me thinking a lot about staying home all day and how I feel about taking time to myself. It's difficult for me to compare the work I do at home to the work Tim does out of the house, or in our case, out of his office in the basement. What I do at home is definitely work...making sure Noah is taken care of and entertained, cleaning the house, laundry, shopping, bills, house maintenance and upkeep (damn straight I mulched the backyard all by myself) among numerous other things. And it's HARD work, believe me, I know. But I signed up for this, right? When we decided that I would stay home, I knew what that entailed and all the responsibilities that would (most likely) be mine alone. So I have a hard time saying to Tim at the end of a day "Here, Honey, take the baby, bathe him, put him to bed, then could you pretty please unload the dishwasher, put away the clean dishes, reload it with dirty ones, then fold the clean laundry from the dryer, transfer a load, and start a fresh one in the washer? Oh, and then scrub the toilets because they really won't clean themselves. Thanks!" while I sit on the couch painting my toenails or run off to the bookstore for quiet time.
How do you handle this? I WANT, nay, NEED time off just like everyone. But I have trouble throwing my very hard working husband under the bus so I can get that time off. I constantly remind myself that all the work he does, especially the "after hours" work and weekend work is for the benefit of our family so I really should stop complaining about having to do another load of laundry. On the flip side, he's as much a part of this family and a parent as I am so he's just as responsible for the baby, the house, the cleaning, etc. I could say that because he works at a job outside (ish) the home, he really isn't as responsible for those things. But I don't whole-heartedly agree with that. I know I would feel different about the 50/50 split if we both held paying jobs and HAD to split up these repsonsibilities. But since I AM home, I CAN do these things.
Hmmm. This whole post looks like a brain dump without too much organization. In summary, and because I am not going to review this before I post it, how do YOU handle this? How do you split up the home/parenting responsibilites? How do you handle the necessary "time off" for both of you?