Friday, April 1, 2011

Men like bullet points and numbered lists

Now that Tim has taken a full-time job with one of his clients (let me just say, halleluah for a salary!), he's been home earlier in the evenings and generally more available to help around the house. This is a good thing, a very, very good thing. Yes, he still sighs when I ask him to load and run the dishwasher and still comes bounding up to me after he completes a household task reminding me he did it and would like some recognition (which usually gets him a Girl Scout cookie...I kid. He gets them himself.) However, though he's doing things I need done and being generally helpful, there are still things I need to teach him about how our household works.
 
Dear Darling Husband, Love of My Life:
 
1. Unless you go to Trader Joe's, apples are sold by the pound and not individually so it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to buy the BIGGEST apples as you are ultimately paying more and our two year old can barely eat half an apple. Buy the medium size ones and only buy three at a time.
 
2. Always buy two loaves of bread and two gallons of milk. Yes, it seems like a lot for three people but YOU eat sandwiches everyday and drink a huuuuuge glass of milk every night. With your Girl Scout cookies.
 
3. We don't buy Diet Coke unless it's on sale i.e. $3.50 or less for a 12 pack. $5.50 at CVS is NOT acceptable even if you are going to die a slow, painful death by caffeine withdrawal. Or get the 2 liter for $1.00 and deal.
 
4. The washing machine has a lot of little buttons but I have pre-set them all so all you have to do is throw the load (that has already been separated) into the machine, add the detergent to the little drawer at the top, and push "start". Close the laundry room door. I promise, it is THAT easy.
 
5. Speaking of laundry, the detergent is concentrated for a high-efficiency machine so you only need to use a third of a capful. Any more and you will drown us all in bubbles.
 
6. The clean clothes folded in the laundry room are not the only ones Noah owns. He has a dresser and closetful and I worry his teachers think he only has three shirts and two pairs of pants. Feel free to experiment when you're getting him dressed in the morning...I promise that he'll look cute regardless.  
 
7. Also, Noah does not always get to decide on "oatmeal and raisins" for breakfast. Who's the boss around here?
 
8. The cleaning supplies live in the cabinet next to the sink. The old rags for cleaning live there too. I put them together to make it super easy. Feel free to use them as necessary.
 
9. The vacuum is purple and lives in the laundry room. It's that tall thing that makes a lot of noise and sucks up all your cat's hair. You plug it into the wall and turn it on and push it around the floor. Noah can show you how it's done. He's a master.
 
And a shout out:
10. You do a fantastic job emptying the dishwasher and not complaining when I reorganize our cabinets without telling you. This is my most dreaded task and thank you for doing it without asking (anymore). You're earning major husband of the year points.