Then I saw this website. It was created by Linda of Sundry Mourning, whose before and after photos were enough motivation to get me moving again, and supported by many voices in the blogging community. I felt that if they could do it, then why can't I? I mean, I am even asking for a gym membership for a Christmas gift for god's sake. There is no reason I can't set aside at least 20 minutes a day for a little DVD workout, possibly even more when the ellipticals have TVs on them at the new gym. I can watch WHATEVER SHOW I WANT without someone else whining about Mythbusters, or Shark Week, or Prototype This, or vampire/zombie movies being on, pleeeeeaaaassseeeeeee. And I can have a whole hour to myself with no baby hanging off my boob. It still means getting in the car and driving to the gym, but I need to do it for myself, for my mental health, for my physical health.
It also doesn't hurt that I am standing up in a wedding in MEXICO in April and the dress I picked, while gorgeous, also as an extremely low back. No one, and I mean NO ONE, needs to be subjected to the back fat that I am sporting these days. I can't even think about how I would look in a bathing suit. Right now, I can conceal the flab and chub with clothing, and people still say I look pretty darn good for having just had a baby. But honestly, that baby was born almost FIVE months ag,o and it's high time I firmed up and lost some of this extra fat. The actual weight number may be nice and pretty but that doesn't mean this body looks good without clothes.
So, I am once again pledging to try harder. You have full permission to give me shit next time I tell you I fell off the workout wagon. Fingers crossed, hopefully there won't even be a next time.
(Also, when the hell did my metabolism decide to take a permanent vacation? I have to watch what I eat ALL THE TIME now and that is serious bullshit. Metabolism, I don't want to have to fire you, so buck up and do your damn job already.)