What up, Doc?

Little boy, let me tell you something.  Being a parent is HARD on your emotions.  They don't tell you that in prenatal classes or at the OB's office during a routine pregnancy visit.  We went for your nine month appointment today and I walked out of there close to tears.  Seems there are a couple issues that we should be concerned about.  Not in a "must fix it immediately" type of concerned but more of the "let's wait and see how it develops and then we'll address it" concerned.  I don't know which is worse though...the getting it taken care of NOW approach fits the way I think.  The wait and see approach causes me to sit in the corner and wring my hands and come home and yell at my husband over something not even remotely related.  And let me tell you, he REALLY appreciated that.  I could tell by the bulging vein in his neck and the way his face got all red.

It seems that we have two major "concerns".  The first is that he may or may not have a tendency to go cross eyed.  The doctor wasn't sure if it is an illusion caused by a wide bridge on his nose and the way his eyes are set in his head (pretty sure we can't do much about that...he's a little too young for elective plastic surgery, no?) or if he's actually a little cross eyed.  So my homework is to take pictures of him with the flash on so we can see if the reflection of the flash falls in the same place in each eye.  If it does then it's an illusion.  If it doesn't...pediatric opthamologist here we come!  And don't think I haven't noticed the cross eyed-ness here and there but I truly thought it was a side effect of me getting up in his face with my big ass camera lens. 

The second concern is that his right foot turns in quite a bit when he stands.  The doctor thinks this could be a direct result of the broken leg (yes, that was the left one) and overcompensation for weak muscles on the left leg.  I'm supposed to position his foot straight when he stands so he gets used to it in that position.  And if that doesn't help...orthopaedics, we're baaaaaccckkkk!   There was talk of a brace and x-rays and that's when I put my hands over my ears and went "LA LA LA LA LA".  

It's hard to hear that your baby, your perfect, precious baby, has potential health issues.  No parent wants to hear that, ever.  I know it could be worse and he could have any of the other bazillion of problems with long and arduous recoveries.  I am grateful that these issues are solvable.  I am grateful that he is healthy overall.  I am grateful that he smiled at me as we were leaving and touched the tear that made it's way down my cheek.   I got a good one, no matter what issues we may have.

This would be a "tweet" if I was on Twitter

No joke.  I just collected $4.82 in change from under my couch cushions.  The universe is FINALLY paying me for doing this job.  

Nine Months

Dear Noah,

Today marks the day that you have officially been OUT of my belly as long as you were IN.  And I much prefer you out.  Know why?  Because you are just so cool.  You're my little rockstar, my dancing, maraca shaking, be-bopping little man.  It's been all about music with you lately...on the radio, on the tv, or from any number of your noise-making toys, every time you hear music your whole body starts grooving.  It's so enjoyable to watch you shake and wobble and flap your arms in the air.  Sometimes you and I dance together all around the kitchen and den, me holding you and bouncing you to the beat of the music.  You love our "tangos" and our "waltzes" and especially when I dip you.  That is sure to bring on the giggles!

You're also talking up a storm.  You love to sit in your carseat and yell MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA at me in the rearview mirror and then when I turn around to acknowledge you, you grin from ear to ear so very proud of yourself for getting my attention.  Most of your meals are accompanied by a side of chatter...as soon as the food goes in, the motor mouth starts jibber jabbering away.  We usually end up covered in your food but it's so much fun to chat with you and hear your voice.  So far you say: Ma, Na, Ba, Noo, Gah, Em-o (Elmo, I'm convinced.  YOU ARE SO SMART.).  Daddy is so disappointed that Da has not yet made the list.  I secretly think he likes to do bathtime alone so he can coach you without my knowledge.  Too bad I'm on to him.  

We just bought you an activity table because all of the sudden you want to stand all the time.  Forget sitting, forget crawling, it's standing or flat on your back screaming because you're not standing.  So to combat the headaches you were giving me, we caved and bought you the table.  And man if you don't LOVE it.  You will stand there for hours if I let you just playing with the toys and grooving to the music.  You're not completely stable on your feet yet so I stay with you to make sure you don't fall and crack your head on the wall (not like that has happened or anything...).  And you're pretty fantastic at "walking" when holding onto our hands.  You really do understand how to put one foot in front of the other to move forward but you have NO balance whatsoever.  We practice "walking, Noah-style" up and down the kitchen and you can't get enough of it.  My guess is you may skip crawling and get right to walking.  I don't know if that is terrifying or exhilarating.  I'm going to say terrifying for now.

We've started your swim class and you're kind "eh" about the whole thing.  The instructors want you to learn to kick your legs and you prefer to lounge on my chest and leisurely float through the water.  No amount of enticing with floating toys makes you kick or splash.  You're just content to watch the other babies and take it all in.  As your daddy says, you're a cool cat and not out to impress the ladies.  My take?  You're kind of lazy sometimes.  I've been trying to encourage you to crawl by putting favorite toys out of reach, and rather than figuring it out, you'll pivot yourself in a circle until you find the closest toy...doesn't matter what it is.  I take that back, you're not lazy, you're efficient.  Why move and strain yourself when there is something just as acceptable closer to you?  Okay then.  You adore pictures of yourself and other babies...which explains this next photo.

You'll kiss anything I tell you to:  me, Daddy, pictures of dogs, cats, ELMO (that reminds me, we were at Toys R Us buying your activity table when we walked by a big boy sized Elmo doll and you started grunting, leaning towards it, trying to grab at it and then started yelling Em! Em! Em-oooooo!  You're a genius.  Harvard?  MIT?  Might as well send the acceptance letters now.).  

Everyday that passes by, you become cooler and infinitely more entertaining.  I think this past month has been one of my favorites by far.  I wish I could stop time, just for a little bit, so I could have more of these exact moments with you.  You keep growing and learning new things and I can see that day in the future when you'll be off without holding on to me.  I don't want that day to come any faster than  it already is.  Stay my baby forever, can you promise me that?

I love you little man, to the moon and back.

Love,

Mama  

I'm lost in Amazon reviews...send help

Let's cheer things up around here shall we?  And be cheer, I mean discussing this major problem I seem to have lately.  It all started around the time I found out we were pregnant.  First it was the crib, then it was the stroller, then the exersaucer, now it's the activity table, the NEXT stroller, the NEXT car seat, and so on and so forth.  It's the curse of Too Much Research.  Too Much Information.  I used to be able to research and make decisions for my clients, many times worth millions of dollars, in minutes.  I would make EDUCATED decisions in minutes.  Now?  I spend days, possibly weeks, researching and making decisions about baby gear.  And I know I am not alone.  

My neighbor, my dear, sweet friend, has spent days agonizing over which red wagon to get for her son to ride in.  A WAGON.  She is not curing cancer, or even choosing a vacation destination.  She is buying a wagon to cart her kid around in.  And lest you think all wagons are the same, you just search "wagon" in the Toys and Games section of Amazon and prepare to be amazed.  There is your classic Radio Flyer option (now retailing at a whopping $80....whaaaaaaat?) but that doesn't have the higher, safer sides nor does it have the super special and fantastic air filled all terrain tires.  There are options with seats and cupholders...but I don't think you get a automatic recline or leather wrapped interior on that model.  You can get canopies and parasols, wooden sides, padded sides, metal or plastic.  No wonder she's overwhelmed!  As my mother would say:  you didn't have any of that and you turned out just fine.  But did we?  Some days I truly wonder.  

The wagon crusade is just one example of Too Much Research, Too Much Information.  I spent MONTHS looking for an umbrella stroller to keep in the car for errands.  Why months, you ask?  Because.  Because there are hundreds of options and thousands of reviews and opinions and I had to look at them ALL to make SURE I bought the best.  Or at least the best I could afford.  And next up is the big boy car seat because he's growing out of the infant seat.  And what I really mean is that I have to make a decision because obviously I have already spent months researching it.  Obviously.

Turning purple

This blog is going purple today (Tuesday) in memory of these sweet babies.  Purple is the color of the March of Dimes organization, supporting babies born prematurely and dedicated to helping prevent premature birth.   Maddie and Thalon both passed away in the past week...I cannot fathom losing Noah so I won't even try to put what I am feeling into words.  I hope these families know that the world is thinking of them during this terrible time and that they can lean on that virtual support.  The blogging community is a funny place like that...virtual strangers coming together to do a world of good.  

My thoughts are with these familes as they mourn the loss of their babies.  My heart is with the many, many others who have been in this same position.  May they find solace in the beautiful memories of their babies.

Hip hop to the hippity hop

Noah hopes everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend!

The Terrible Twos...15 months early

Problems:

-Noah did not nap today.
-Noah refused his bottles today.
-Noah thinks it's funny to hit me.
-Noah spit his food at me.

-Noah threw a maraca at my head.  
-Noah exhausted me and pushed me to the edge today.

Solutions:

-Ask Noah for a kiss and get slobbered on. There is nothing that can make a day turn around faster than a baby kiss accompanied by a little drool.
-Squeeze my boy a little tighter and know that I am lucky that he is here.
-Put baby to sleep for the night and watch him heave a huge sigh of relief.  Sweet, sweet sleep.

-Spend an hour ALONE in Target.  

This is the "there she goes with the camera again...am I smiling?  I think I am smiling":

This is the "Oh!  She wants CUTE!  I'll give her cute":

This is the "I am so NOT crawling woman...if you keep putting my toys farther away, then I will resort to tearing apart my puzzle mat":

This is the "do we HAVE to do a semi-naked photo shoot?  I'm coooooollllddddd!  And you're a bad photographer":

This is the "you are a goddess, mama, a beautiful goddess and I am in awe of you" also known as "I think I just pooped":

Fin.

Note to S on your wedding day

We're supposed to be in Mexico right now. As the last couple of posts may have indicated, we're having a tough time financially (who isn't?) so we had to make a heartbreaking decision to not attend my dearest friend's wedding in Mexico this weekend. I am not ok with this decision. I KNOW it was the right thing to do as we really couldn't afford to go, but it still hurts so much to know that I won't be there to see her marry her perfect man. She was so wonderful in that she understood when I had to break the news to her last week...she was more gracious than I would have been had I been in her shoes. This is a note to her, for when she returns:

Dearest S,

Congratulations my darling friend! You and C did it! After many years and months of planning and orchestrating, you pulled off your big day and I'm sure it was absolutely perfect. I am so so sorry that I wasn't able to be there with you, helping you celebrate, holding your train, dancing on the beach with a margarita in hand. I want you to know that we tried so very hard to be there for your day and please know that our hearts are there with you. If there were any other circumstances, I would be there.

In my mind's eye, you are a stunning bride...swathed in delicate wisps of satin and tulle, dancing to your special song with your handsome groom. Through the years I always imagined myself at your wedding standing beside you and supporting you as you opened this new chapter in your life. But this isn't about me, or where I am, but about you and C and your life together. You two are perfect complements of each other and I could never have imagined a more perfect match for you. I hope you always look into each other's eyes and see the love that you have for each other today, that love that will be there forever through good and bad. As I have come to find, life is not always kind and it's the tough times that test your love for each other, shove it to the brink, and then bring it back. Rely on that love, the memories of your wedding day and all the days that follow, to bring you through any adversity.  

One of my most cherished photos from our wedding is of C with a floral centerpiece on his head, carrying it back to the hotel.  It perfectly captures a facet of his personality--his ability to find fun and joy in any day and anything he does.  And that part of C is now a part of you.  You are both so lucky to have found each other.  I hope you two are blessed with children (soon?  please?  MORE BABIES!)  because there is no sweeter experience than having a child with the man you love.  I hope you are blessed with every happiness in the world, now and forever.  

We love you both and wish we could be there with you on your wedding day.  Know that we are thinking of you always and will visit as soon as we can.  

All our love,

S & T (& N, too)

P.S. Send pictures ASAP!