A little of this, a little of that

I know it's so annoying when bloggers say "I have something going on but it's unbloggable" but...I have something going on that is completely unbloggable and it SUCKS and is AWFUL and I am a ball of anxiety. No, no one is dying, no jobs have been lost, nothing irreversible but a major life issue nonetheless. I most likely won't be able to talk about it in this space due to the nature of the "issue" but please send any positive, happy thoughts my way if you have some to spare.

(My Indian Hawk Guide didn't tell me this crap was on its way. I'm putting in for a new Guide, perhaps one of the Eagle variety.)

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Gah. Anyhow. Moving on. Baby updates! Chloe is thisclose to sitting up on her own. Perhaps I should save that mile marker for her 6 month post but it's just too exciting to not share. We've been spending some more time together as a result of That Issue Mentioned Up There so we've been practicing her new tricks. I just want to eat her up and smooch her cheeks every chance I get.

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What's up with the awesome weather, Chicago? I fear there will be snow in May. I refuse to pack away the snow boots even though it is currently SEVENTY-SEVEN degrees outside and I am sweating in my house. Is The End coming? Should I be prepared?

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Tim and I just finished planning our monthly budget for this year and holy spendslot. On one hand it was a good exercise because it opened my eyes to just how much we fritter away on random shopping trips and eating out. I'm not renewing our Costco membership because each trip cost me $200. COME ON. I'm avoiding Target like the plague and ordering any disposable goods online. For example, I went to Target to buy diapers today (with coupons no less!) and left with diapers, two summer outfits for Chloe, two outfits for Noah, random crap from the Dollar Spot, a new wrinkle cream for me and pots for summer plantings. The only thing I needed on that list was diapers. Sigh. It looks like April and May will be our No Spend Months. Now I know why I complain about not having money...Target and Starbucks ate it all. 

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Me: Noah, what's your letter of the week?

Noah: W!

Me: What's a word that starts with W?

Noah: Wine!

Me: Whine? Like what you do before bath?

Noah: No! Wine! Like what you drink in your fancy glass!

Me: Errrrrr...

Noah: Can I have some?

Me: NO. 

Annnddddd, goodnight!

Chloe, Five Months

Hi! I'm Chloe! I am the happiest baby ever in the whole entire universe, lookatmeIsmileallthetime!!!

I think I've said this every month since she actually learned how to smile but this girl really does smile/laugh/screech in happiness all day long. The only time she fusses is when she is Hungry Like The Wolf or completely exhausted. Speaking of hungry, look who started solids this month:

The girl loves herself some food. She headbutted me out of the way to get to my toast last Sunday and it was all I could do to keep her away from it. I did let her gnaw on a banana and my First Time Mom-self is wringing her hands with worry while this Second Time Mom-self is all "here! have some food! you want some soup?" I've been much more lax about waiting three to five days between new foods and she's lucky I haven't just shot ahead to the fruit/veggie mixes. We've only given her dinner thus far but I'm pretty sure the death stares she's shooting me at 7 am mean she's looking for breakfast too. I figure at the rate we're going she'll have tried every baby food option by 7 months and have moved on to mac and cheese with a side of broccoli. 

Did you take my food? You better not have touched it. Where IS IT?

As noted in this post, Chloe is definitely NOT sleeping through the night. In fact, she's up more than ever right now. We have had ONE sleep through and that was Christmas night which made it a true Christmas miracle. We have seen nothing but wake up after wake up since then. Depending on the day I may say "eh, whatever, she'll EVENTUALLY sleep through the night, no big deal!" or you may get "I am losing my ever-loving mind to sleep deprivation, she refuses a bottle in the middle of the night, looks at Tim like he's CRAZY to try to give one to her when all she wants is boob and did I just put my keys in the freezer?" What I'm saying is some days are better than others and I'm really sleepy.

Chloe's newest trick is more consistently rolling from tummy to back though she refuses to do so when encouraged and once you turn your back she's all about it. She is also really into sitting up but can't hold the pose for more than a couple seconds before timber-ing to the floor. She earned herself a nice goose egg on her head from a wayward fall. 

Not to worry, the next try I used her brother as a prop:

And another repeated theme in Month Five is how much this girl LOVES her brother. She gets all googly eyed when he comes around and can't help but try to grab for his hair or face. I'm not sure he loves the baby talons scraping him every time but he's a good sport. 

Chloe, Month Five is one of my very favorites because of all the new and wondrous things you will learn. From here on out you are going to gain skills at breakneck speed and it will be all we can do to keep up with you. I love you to pieces my little doodlebug. 

If I was religious it would have been Hallelujah all over the place

I have many things rattling around in my brain space. Things like an overdue five month post for Chloe, pictures to upload and edit, a monthly meal plan that I want to try out to attempt to make dinner-time easier, discussing a new volunteering thingy I've recently started and very much enjoy. But instead I am going to steal ten minutes from my work day and tell you about the strangest thing ever.

It begins with last February, as in a year ago. Without getting into all the horrific details we had had a rough couple of years in the self-employment sphere and Tim was putting feelers out there for a salaried position. This decision was really hard for him to make and he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. One afternoon during this time of major deliberation, as he was pulling the car into the alley behind our house, he happened to look up and saw a HAWK perched on top of our neighbor's fence. The hawk was just staring Tim down and Tim was taken aback by it. By the time Tim pulled into our garage and walked back to the alley to check it out, the hawk was gone. I haven't done any research but my guess is that it's not all that common to spot a giant hawk in the middle of this big city. Let alone a giant hawk chilling on your fence.

The next day he was offered a lucrative, salaried position with a former client of his, precisely when we desperately needed it to happen. Tim credited his "Indian Hawk Guide" and considered him a sign of good things to come.

Fast forward to this past Wednesday. I was getting Noah unbuckled and out of the car so we could pick up Chloe at her sitter's house. As I turned around I happened to look up and saw a HAWK sitting on a condo balcony across the alley. And, yes, he was staring right at me. What made me look up and behind me? I had no reason to do so but I did and he was there. Just watching me. I immediately called Tim and our conversation went like this:

Me: HAWK! SPOTTING! What the...???
Tim: Shut up. What color is he?
Me: Gray and brown. And BIG.
Tim: That's MY hawk! You know this is totally a sign...
Me: Of what?
Tim: Dunno.
Me: Thank you for your insight.

I'm sure he then ended the conversation with some ridiculous comment like "Patience, little one" and then I hung up on him. Anyhow. I gave the hawk a stare right back and went inside to pick up the baby. By the time we got back out, the hawk was gone. Poof, vanished.

Then today happened. Today we received final confirmation that Noah got a coveted spot in the (FREE!!!) preschool at our neighborhood school for this coming fall. We needed that spot so badly and it happened. I also found out that I got the raise I asked for as well as a bonus above and beyond what I had expected. We needed that so badly too and it happened. I'm really grateful for today.

I'm also really grateful for our Indian Hawk Guide who clearly shows up right when we need him to. Both times we spotted him we had good fortune come our way. Now if only he showed up the next time (only time?) I play lotto. Mama could use a HUGE windfall.

You may notice I'm a tidgy bit crabby

I know this is fleeting and I know it will end and I know I will forget this ever happened but I have to say it: WHY IS NO ONE IN MY HOUSE SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT? Except my husband, he's rather good at it. You guys, I am so tired. The kind of deep in your bones tired that one night of good sleep won't even touch. Not only is Chloe up two or three times a night to eat but now Noah is waking up two or three times a night and they're ALTERNATING HOURS. He comes padding into our room, pokes me in the FACE and says "I wost my bwankie/I hafta go potty/I need some water/what happened to Owen (the damn stuffed bear who he NEVER cares about until the middle of every night and is usually found in the space between his bed and the wall)?"

It goes like this:

7:00 pm: Baby nursed and fast asleep.
7:30 pm: Noah bathed and in bed, books being read.
8:00 pm: Lights out for Noah
8:09 pm: "I hafta go potty!" screamed from the top of the stairs. Note: he went potty after the bath.
8:22 pm: "I need some water!" No, he most surely does not. 
9:00 pm: He's usually fallen asleep by now.
Sometime between 10 - 11 pm: Chloe's first wake-up. Nurses like she's never eaten before and then back down.
11:00 pm: I go to sleep. Finally.
12:00 am: Noah usually wakes up, comes into our room and proceeds to poke me until I wake up. Walk him back to his room, put him in bed, refuse to "just stay with me mommy and let's talk about my day."
2:00 am: Chloe's second wake-up. Nurses, chats a bit, thrashes around in her crib, passes back out.
3:00 am: Noah is up again. Same procedure as above.
4:00 am: Chloe may wake up again, may not. It's a really fun surprise every night.
5:00 am: Annnnnd there's Noah again. This one is usually the Wost Bwankie excuse. It's always tangled up in his covers.
5:30 am: Hello (f@*$ing) alarm.
6:00 am: She's up and screeching like a pterodactyl in her crib.
7:00 am: He's up and sobbing because he's soooooooo sweeeeppyyyyy, Mommmmmyyyyyyy. No shit, kid.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Keen minds will notice that we are missing a key player in all this: my husband. That man will sleep through a hurricane. The only way he'll get up is if I PUNCH him in the back and even then it'll take him at least five minutes to respond to whichever small person is causing the ruckus. By that time I could have gotten up and handled the issue so I usually do. Plus once I hear one of them squawking I'm already awake. I, sadly, do not have the Sleep Through The Madness And Then Wonder Why The Wife Is Crabby In The Morning gene.

This morning my boss took me aside and said "You know, if I'm ever out and you need to, I have a couch in my office that you can use for a little nap." I must really look like hell because I hadn't so much as mentioned how tired I was. Awesome.

Glimpses

I hope you like looking at pictures of my kids because here come twenty of them. A little glimpse of what we've been up to this winter.

SOCCER!

SMILING!

COOKIE DECORATING!

SANTA AT THE ZOO!

MORE SMILING!

SPELLING! (and a little beginning reading...shh, I'm not going to jinx it by talking about it)

PICKING OUR NOSES!

SNOW!

SNOWMAN! Er, SNOWMOUND!

 LOVE.

Phew. That should make up for the last four months of posting near zero photos.

Chloe, Four Months

Well now, I'm glad THAT'S over. By THAT I mean the first three months. The first three months of a new baby's life are probably the most stressful for the family. There is so much adjustment and lack of control over anything. I'm so happy we've finally made it to four months and started to move past all of that. Now the fun really begins.

Um, baby girl dresses are my weakness. Why didn't you all TELL ME???

At four months, Chloe is the absolute happiest baby I have ever met. I may be partial but this girl truly smiles all day long. 

She's constantly showing off this smile to everyone she sees and causing a ruckus with the old ladies at the grocery store. They can't seem to get enough of her. I love that she's so naturally happy and I hope that demeanor sticks with her. It would serve her well in life.

She weighs in at 14 lbs, 2 oz and measures 24.75 inches long. According to her pediatrician, she's growing right on track and hitting her milestones right on time. Perfectly perfect. Full admission here but when the ped asked if she was "hitting her milestones" I had to ask him to remind me what they are at 4 months. There's that second kid syndrome again. For the record, she's rolling from tummy to back consistently, has found her fingers and toes and can grab and bring toys to her mouth. I think those are the major gross motor ones, right?

She's not sleeping through the night and I've given up on trying to make that happen. Some kids do it, some kids don't. Noah did, Chloe doesn't. Whatever. She's up at least twice but she's a fast nurser and goes back to sleep almost immediately. She's also a champ at putting herself to sleep and I know how lucky we are in that department. The only issue I see is that she refuses a pacifier and has found out how to suck on her thumb. We're in the thick of trying to get Noah off the finger sucking and I was so hoping that Chloe wouldn't follow suit. It's still early and I'll keep prying that thumb out of her mouth and stuffing a pacifier in so we'll see what happens.

Her eyes are a beautiful blue-gray and she has these ears that stick out in such a darling way. I have no idea where those ears came from but I love that they make her HER. She's lost most of her dark newborn hair and it's being replaced with a covering of pale peach fuzz that you can barely see. When we're out and about we get a lot of compliments on our "little boy", never mind for the pale pink coat she's always sporting :)

Chloe has such a calm demeanor and rarely gets herself worked up. She's content to hang out in the Bumbo or on her playmat, just observing her world as it goes on. If her big brother is hanging around, she's got her eyes locked on him and watches him intently. I can already see that she's learning so much from him...I better make sure it's all good stuff and none of this newfound Evil Superhero Business he's been partaking in. Noah is truly the sweetest big brother; she's so lucky to have him.

To be honest, I'M so lucky to have HER. I didn't know how much I wanted a daughter until she arrived and everyday I find myself more in love. Chloe's brought a feeling of contentment and completion to our family. The four of us feels really, really good.

Filler post because I haven't uploaded baby photos yet

I owe you (read: my grandmother) a four month post for Miss Chloe and I promise to do it this weekend. In the meantime you get another filler post, hooray!

I stole this from K who stole it from Jive Turkey. We're a thieving little group, are we not?

A to Z

A. Age: 30

B. Bed size: Queen. I would kill for a King but our old house won't allow one up the stairs.

C. Chore that you hate: Putting away laundry. You know it's bad when your 3 year old goes to the laundry room for clean clothes before opening his drawers.

D. Dogs: We have a little cockapoo named Lily who has massive separation anxiety. She's...special.

E. Essential start to your day: A shower. I just hate the makeupping and blowdrying that must follow.

F. Favorite color: Blue, any shade.

G. Gold or silver: Both.

H. Height: 5'2", on a good day.

I. Instruments that you play: Zero.

J. Job title: Trust Administrator at work. Chief Baby Wrangler and Head of House Management at home.

K. Kids: Three year old Noah and four month old Chloe.

L. Live: Chicago

M. Mother's name: Candi. For real.

N. Nicknames: Mama, Mommy, Hey you. 

O. Overnight hospital stays: Baby birthing in 2008 and 2011.

P. Pet peeves: The people at work who leave their dirty dishes in the sink. They must have magic fairies at home who clean up after them.

Q. Quote from a movie: I am terrible at movie quotes. Possible one of my biggest failures in life.

R: Right or left handed: Right

S: Siblings: A younger brother and a baby sister. She'll always be my baby.

T: Travel favorite: Maui for our honeymoon. Then San Francisco. I love that city.

U. Underwear: Let's not discuss the sad state of my lingerie drawer. I don't think it qualifies as lingerie in any language.

V. Vegetable(s) you hate: Brussel sprouts. I have TRIED so hard but no thank you.

W. What makes you run late: The children. Hands down.

X. X-rays you've had: Jaw, teeth. 

Y. Yummy food that you make: Zucchini bread (ohhh yum), enchiladas, lasagna, chicken pot pie.

Z. Zoo animal: I agree with K, penguins are the best. Our zoo CLOSED THE EXHIBIT and there may have been tears...mine, not the kid's.