"Not too fat, just a little in the face"

Today was a "go to work day" so that means I have to get out of my pajamas, actually blow dry my hair and put a little color on my face. I hate "go to work days". Anyhow, I got on the elevator at my office building today with 5 other people…one of which I work with, though only peripherally. Apparently, I haven't seen this woman in a couple months because she glanced at me and then did a double take when she realized I was pregnant. She proceeded to pull open my jacket to get a better look at my belly which of course drew attention from the rest of the passengers riding with us. Lovely, isn't it?

She then tells me she's going to guess what I am having, boy or girl. So then the guy next to me chimes in with "It's a boy. Can't you tell? She's all in front and big in the belly. Not big on the sides like if it was a girl". The woman I work with agreed. Oh ho, isn't this great fun for me? But it didn't stop there. The remaining three people all craned their necks to look at the pregnant circus freak and all agreed it's a boy. Aren't they all just so special with their ability to divine what the baby's sex is just by looking at me? I seriously felt like I was on display in Macy's Christmas windows, especially since my co-worker was STILL holding my jacket open.

I recovered from that situation, only to run into the same woman in the bathroom a couple of hours later. This time she pointed out my pregnant belly to the other woman washing her hands. Ok, fine, I get it. This new found information apparently thrills the pants off her. But this time she says to me: "You know what? You're doing a good job of not getting too fat, just a little in the face" along with a circular motion around her own face. At this point I wanted to punch her own rotund, chubby little face with my not too fat fist. If I had hung around any longer I bet she would have asked me how much weight I've gained so far.

Lesson learned: everyone loves to comment about a woman's pregnancy and its progress. It's just a matter of time before random people start touching my belly, isn't it?