The source of all my nightmares

I don't know if I was smart to read this BEFORE the baby comes or if it was the worst idea I have ever had in the whole wide world. Click through carefully...if you don't want to know what the immediate postpartum experience is like I would suggest you ignore this link. To those of you who I promised a complete and honest description of MY labor/delivery/postpartum experience, I will give that to you. If it's anything like this woman describes, man, am I in for it.

Time is not flying

Did you know that next week is the beginning of July? And then what that means is that we are in the MONTH THAT THIS BABY WILL BE BORN. I start my days feeling happy that I have a few more weeks before I have to be a mother to a new baby and still have some time to get work done around the house (because I am doing it? no, just thinking about it) and time to spend with just my husband before our double wide becomes a triple wide. But by the time dinner rolls around I am posting eviction notices on my belly and begging, no, pleading, with my unborn child to make his exit quickly and efficiently. The doc told me I am beginning to thin and soften (the cervix that is...I am not getting thinner anywhere else right now) and I am "right where I should be at 36 weeks 4 days" said with a smile and a pat on the arm. Maybe the wild look in my eyes told the truth of how I feel because she followed it up with this gem "I wouldn't get your hopes up of an early delivery...90% of the first borns I see are late...we'll let you go a week past your due date before we do another ultrasound to see what's going on". Why thank you, doc, that was EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. I am so not offering her a swig from my champagne bottle after this kid comes out.


My worry is that if he stays in there too long that he will get too big and then I am screwed because I will go into labor and then I will labor for 20 hours until they realize that the baby is too big and not descending into my pelvis and then I will have a c-section and holy god I have been watching too much TLC. But seriously! It's happened to 3 people I know! And they're not even people on the TV who I pretend to be friends with. I have no control over this process and that just pisses me off a little bit. So, I'm here, waiting, impatiently.

Matters of the heart

Within days of each other we found out both my grandfather and Tim's mom have to have heart procedures. My grandfather will be having open heart surgery sometime in the next week or so and tomorrow Tim's mom goes in for an angioplasty and if that doesn't work then it's open heart surgery for her. My father was diagnosed with heart disease years ago and has battled complications for years, including a stroke and adult onset diabetes.

With these genes our odds of complications down the road are much higher. I hope that we keep taking care of ourselves so we can ward off any future heart problems and also show our babies that heart disease is preventable, regardless of your genes and family history. Our grandparents and parents didn't know that their lifestyle choices as younger adults would have such a detrimental effect on their health later in life. But we know better now. We have to make better choices. We WILL make better choices. If not for ourselves then for our son.

Week 36/37 plus gratuitous belly shot

Ok, I think I am over the shock of discovering the stretch marks. I should probably call Target and apologize for my minor breakdown in their dressing room upon discovery of said stretch marks and subsequent teary phone call to my husband. During that phone call I discovered that not only did he notice the stretch marks but that they had been there for a couple of weeks. Gah! He kept that from me for weeks! That has to be against our marriage vows or something.


We officially reached the 4 week mark as of yesterday. 4 weeks...28 days...672 hours to go. Maybe more, maybe less. Please be less. Once this week passes the baby is officially considered "cooked" and can come at any time with no detrimental side effects. I feel like I am on baby watch 2008. Every twinge, every little pain makes me wonder if "it's time". I think I woke up five times last night because I had a minor cramp in my abdomen and got all excited...for nothing. Yay for gas.

But we're ready. I think. As ready as we're going to be.



Can't you just hear his shouts of "let me out of heeerrrrreeeeeeeeee, I'm sick of this studio and would much prefer a one bedroom, one bathroom with a separate dining area and possibly a little sun porch".

Baby details: approx. 19 inches long, 6 lbs or so, squirming like an angry caterpillar, fondness for Mexican and chocolate ice cream, dislikes it when Mama lays (or is it lies?) on her right side and squishes his head.

That's it, I'm done

I found my first stretch marks today. I have to take to my bed for the rest of this weekend.

Lazy

I will never claim that I have a keen fashion sense. I care about how I look, and I like to buy pretty clothes, shoes, accessories, etc. But let me tell you something: pregnancy has a way of making you NOT CARE AT ALL what you look like. The thought of showering is exhausting in itself not to mention blowdrying my hair? Oh god, my arms turn to jelly just thinking about it. Lying in bed every morning I think about "getting ready" and want to stay in bed all day. Yes, I know that since I am home full time now I don't have to shower and look pretty, but if I don't do all of those things to look better, I realize I feel like crap by the middle of the morning. But seriously? Today I have a nail appointment (in ten minutes! what am I doing talking to YOU?), an eye exam because I suck and ran out of contacts, and a trip to Target to buy a new bra to contain these puppies (I just know they are going to be all saggy and nasty after having a baby, why world? why?)(and I refuse to spend money on bras that won't fit in a few months, so there.). Anyhow, my clothes barely fit, I have been running around in the ugliest maternity skirts from Old Navy, and I can't imagine any shoes besides my Reef flip flops (what am I? a fifteen year old surfer?). And the worst part? I know it won't get better after the baby comes. In fact, I fully anticipate my laziness with regard to my appearance to worsen. There must be a magic button to fix this...right?

My one and only

To my husband:

Today I want to honor you as an expectant father, a soon-to-be caretaker of boo-boos, an exterminator of monsters in the closet, a future hero to our little boy. You have a lifetime of Father's Days ahead of you where you will be celebrated and cheered...this one in particular is most special because it is me celebrating you and all that you have accomplished. Anyone who says you're not a father yet doesn't know how great of care you have taken with your unborn son. I love you for being you, and I thank you for all that you do for me and your baby boy. Happy Soon-To-Be Daddy's Day.

English is his second language FOR SURE

I ordered a virgin strawberry margarita at dinner tonight...I don't think our friend Jose understood what I meant. Woooooooooozzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyy. Sorry, baby...hopefully you like a splash of tequila with your fajitas. I totally did not do this on purpose.

Week 35

Dear Baby Boy,

I know it's been a while since I wrote to you and for that I apologize. But since we do spend EVERY MOMENT of EVERY DAY and EVERY NIGHT together, I don't feel so bad. This week marks your 35th week in utero and my 35th week of complaining and whining. I still cannot comprehend the fact that you will be here in 5 weeks, give or take. YOU! You are coming! I get to meet YOU so soon. It's completely thrilling and yet absolutely terrifying at the same time.

I think I am finally over my concern that I won't know what to do with you once you're here. I mean, I still don't know what to do with a brand new baby, but at this point I feel like I will figure it out. Especially after I saw the look on the newborn baby boy's face in the nursery during our tour...he had just been circumsized and apparently they give the boys a little "happy juice" to help numb the pain. He was a day old and looked like a drunk old man with a sloppy grin on his face. It does not get better than that. That little face made me realize that you're just another little person and that I am so lucky to be the one entrusted with your care.

You have a name, a nursery, plenty of clothes and precious stuffed animals, and a family who cannot wait to meet you. I think I need a sign up chart for all the visitors that want to come see you in the hospital...you're popular already. Way more popular than me. Your grandma calls everyday to check in on you. Though everyday it is the same story, she gets excited knowing you're doing well. At the last doctor appointment you weighed 4 lbs 13 oz and measured approximately 17 inches. You're a big boy, though not off the charts. I'm going to have to cap you at 8 lbs my friend...I don't want to think about you being any bigger *shudder*.

Keep on keepin' on little guy. Stay in there until you're nice and ready to come out and meet us. Though a little early wouldn't be discouraged.

Love you,
Mama

Hee-hee-who, hee-hee-who

We had our birthing class today at the hospital where I will be delivering. When the instructor asked us all (20 couples) who was planning a natural, drug-free delivery and no one raised their hands, it made me laugh outloud. I really thought there would be at least a couple women who were going to try for it all natural, but nope, we all are a bunch of weaklings. No, honestly, I support whatever decision each woman wants as far as her birth plan, but my plan is an epidural at 5 cms and a relatively pain-free delivery. The best part of the class was the tour of the labor and delivery ward as well as the postpartum floor. Half of the rooms face Lake Michigan and if I could pay more to reserve a room with that view I would in a heartbeat. Today was sunny, with tiny white sailboats dotting the blue-green water. It was truly stunning. Unfortunately, you get what you get and there is no way I can bribe the triage nurse to put me in one of those rooms.

I didn't learn a whole lot that I didn't already know about labor and delivery, you know, the mechanics of the whole deal. I know it will be different once it's me in there, but it all seems pretty ho-hum. But I did learn that after tomorrow (end of 34 weeks)if I go into spontaneous labor, my doctor will not try to stop it. So, technically, the boy can come at anytime after tomorrow and be relatively healthy and safely delivered. Freaky, eh? Or totally awesome, whichever way you want to look at it.

So, all in all it wasn't a total loss as far as time or money, especially since I got to eat a cookie and a brownie, for FREE.

Week 32 Belly vs. Week 34 Belly

Week 32

Week 34


That's 5 lbs of baby in there. Can you blame me for being cranky?

WhineFest 2008 continues

You know how two days ago I was complaining and being all whiny and then I said it was all going to be worth it in the end because I'll have my precious baby? Yeah, well, I call bullshit. Of course it will be worth it, but the getting there part of the process? It sucks. I am so OVER being pregnant. I am tired. I am crabby. I don't like people. (Except you, I like you.) I know every baby is a miracle and I am very grateful that at the end of this I get to have a little man that is part me, part Tim. But good god, it is taking every ounce of restraint to not call up my OB/GYN and demand they take this baby out of me thisveryminutethankyouverymuch. So when I start talking about baby 2.0 and speak fondly of this pregnancy, remind me of this very post mmmkay? (And tomorrow? If I decide to write about how beautiful pregnancy is, and special, and magical, that is my perogative. Pregnancy is an excuse for any behavior, no?)

Eco Update

I know I talked about our efforts to make this house and our lifestyle a little more eco-friendly a while ago. Of course, that was BEFORE pregnancy, BEFORE my brain was overtaken by images of teeny feet and pudgy bellies, BEFORE my own belly began to swell to ginormous proportions (though the saleswoman today at Mimi Maternity did tell me "Girl, you look fiiiine for 34 weeks, keep on rockin' it"..LOVE HER). Lately Tim and I have really taken a hard look at our lifestyle, both from a "green" perspective and a financial perspective. There is nothing like losing one income and bringing an extra person into the household to make you rethink a lot of your choices.

Our first change was trading in Tim's BMW 3-series for a Toyota Prius. We loved that BMW with a undying yuppie passion. Tim's always had a thing for BMWs so when he had the chance to buy one two years ago he jumped at it. Unfortunately, the BMW was not a very gas-friendly car. As you all know, gas prices across the country are the highest they have ever been...and imgaine filling a tank with only premium, all the time. Each fill cost us about $60-70, and this is a small sedan style car, not an SUV with a big ass tank. So, $65 every four days or so and we're talking a big waste of money every month. Not to mention the outrageous monthly payments we were making for that car. I can't even tell you the amount because it is embarrassing that we spent that much on a car every month. Changing to the Prius is saving us money both on the monthly payment but also in gas. Now Tim fills his car every TWO WEEKS, rather than every four days. And he can use regular gas which saves us almost $0.50 a gallon and with a smaller tank it's just less gas all around.

The Prius is an obvious money saver, but it's pretty damn cool that we are using hybrid technology at the same time. Watching the Prius' "tech center console screen thing-y"(I'm sure it has an offical sounding name, but I have no clue what it is) I can see the car switching from the gas engine to the electric engine to the battery, using the best source of energy for the type of driving I'm doing. It makes me feel good to know that we're using less gas every time we get in the car.

Buying the Prius also started us thinking about how much we drive everywhere. Even to the grocery store 4 blocks away. To the drugstore that is literally at the end of our block. It's ridiculous. So now we walk a lot more often. We go to the grocery store a few times a week rather than one big buy every couple weeks, and we only buy what we can carry in our re-usable totes. Beginning next week we'll have two farmer's markets within a few blocks of us...one on Tuesdays and one on Saturdays. The beauty of the farmer's market is that we can buy produce and baked goods that were grown locally. This not only saves gas because the transport of the goods is so much shorter, but it also supports our local businesses and farms. And anything we buy will be seasonal to our area. I'm excited to see what these markets have to offer.

These are just a few of our recent changes to our lifestyle. I feel good about what we have accomplished so far, and I am looking forward to what else we can come up with.

Take a look at http://planetgreen.discovery.com to see the new Planet Green channel. It's a completely "green" focused TV channel...green renovations, using less, wasting less, tips and tidbits about being green. Pretty damn cool.

Day 217

I can't breathe. My lungs are being crushed by an almost 5 pound fetus. Deep breaths are a thing of the past. I can't roll over in bed. Any movement is accompanied by evil grunts and grimaces which tend to scare Tim. I can't get off the couch without assistance so it's pretty, um, interesting when I am home by myself. The dog isn't much help. My wedding rings don't fit so I am wearing a craptastic CZ band I scored for 14 bucks at some discount store. My feet swell by the end of the day, and I am constantly overheated. I have been pregnant now 217 days...but I wouldn't change a thing. In 6 weeks none of this will matter. In 6 weeks all of these "complaints" will seem trivial. In 6 weeks my boy will be here.

Pictures of the baby shower and some fabulous gifts to come!