Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Starts with a "G" and ends in "uilt"

It's everywhere.  I didn't attend a function for my former employer because I didn't have anyone to watch the baby even though I had RSVP'd months ago.  Guilt.   I don't make dinner every night (or even every other night) for my family even though I stay home and have the time.  Guilt.   I put my kid in the swing when I'm tired of paying attention to him.  Guilt.   I sometimes leave him in a wet diaper at night because I know that changing him will wake him and I just want another few hours of sleep.  Guilt.  I don't always spend evenings paying attention to my husband and instead read blogs.  Guilt.  My baseboards are dirty.  Guilt.  The laundry hasn't been done in days.  Guilt.  I haven't called my friends often enough since the baby has been born.  Guilt.  I ate too much pie.  Guilt.

But you know what?  I cut myself a little slack.  All this guilt lives in my house and sometimes I sweep it under the rug.  I feel bad about all of the things listed above and yes, I wish I could change them, but I also know that I probably won't.  Except for the calling friends thing...that I have to be better at.  None of those things are so-called "deal breakers" for me.   I am happy.  My husband is happy.  My baby is happy.  And if I live my day-to-day with a little guilt, then meh, so be it.  It's there, it's real, and it can sleep on the couch in the basement.  It just better not expect a home-cooked meal.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Um, you cooked me two meals on ONE day! Don't forget that!